Or, Air Hysterica
Published on February 24, 2005 By stutefish In War on Terror
So this morning on my way in to work, Air America made a big deal out of Bush's two-facedness, or split-tonguedness, or asshattery, or whatever.

No, I don't remember which of their radio personalities it was. All I know is that it wasn't Al Franken, because Al Franken always sounds like he's drunk. Have you ever noticed that? Seriously. Unlike the rest of this post, I'm not going for a cheap liberal-bashing shot here. He really does enunciate like a drunk man, all the frickin' time. Anyway, this guy didn't sound drunk. Just... stupid.

The object of ridicule in this particular segment was something Bush had said in Brussels, earlier in the week. I'm sure you've heard it:

"This notion that the United States is getting ready to attack Iran is simply ridiculous. Having said that, all options are on the table."

This, argued Air America, is a clear contradiction. Do we really need any more proof than this that Bush is an asshat?

If you already know where this is going, feel free to leave now. If you need me to spell it out for you, read on.

I live in San Diego. What with all the rain, a lot of hillsides are becoming quite mobile. Hillsides melting away from underneath homes. Hillsides engulfing large houses, with people still inside them. Now, my particular hillside doesn't seem to have this problem. So the notion that I'm getting ready to move out of my home is ridiculous. Having said that, on the off chance that my hillside decides to take a walk, all options are on the table.

And really, isn't that the way you'd want it to be?

Diplomacy is great. Diplomacy solves problems. Diplomacy works. You want the diplomatic solution? Knock yourself out! There are no plans to deliver beatings to asshats at this time. But what if diplomacy fails? After all, "some men you just can't reach". What then? Aren't you glad that someone is willing to keep a contingency plan on the table? (And let's be honest, here: isn't the implicit threat of violence often an excellent motivation for peaceful compromise?)

And we're not even touching the obvious fact that "we will never fight for our policies or principles" is exactly equal to "you are free to totally ignore our policies and principles". How is that a good negotiating technique?

Hate Bush's policies and principles all you like, Air America. But can't you find anything better to do than make fun of him for taking the obvious and sensible line on this issue?

Next you're going to tell me that Karl Rove set up CBS with obviously fake documents.... and CBS was so frickin' stupid, they fell for it.

Please.

Comments
on Feb 24, 2005
*chuckle*
on Feb 24, 2005
But it is a bit of a contradiction. "not getting ready to attack Iran" & "all options are on the table". Kinda reminds me of the Star Trek gag "We come in peace...Fire all phasers Mr. Spock!"

I don't think it's worthy of the brewhaha that some on the liberal fringe are trying to make of it.
Also...Say what you will about Al Franken, but he is probably the most responsible pundit on the left. The guy does his homework before he goes off on an issue.
Some of the other folks on AA on the other hand aren't nearly as adept at fact checking, and i disagree with them (Garafolo in particular) a lot of the time.

But let's not forget those on the right either. I like Joe Scarborough because he's an honest man. I don't agree with him at all most of the time, but i like him.
Then you have pitbulls like Sean Hannity, Bill "loofa king" O'Reilly, and Rush. They are not only guilty of the same behavior as those you dislike at AA. They invented the medium!

Al does sound like he's been drinking margaritas in the booth though. I think it's just the Minnesoooooootah accent.
on Feb 24, 2005
That One Guy said:

But it is a bit of a contradiction. "not getting ready to attack Iran" & "all options are on the table". Kinda reminds me of the Star Trek gag "We come in peace...Fire all phasers Mr. Spock!"

it's not even remotely a contradiction.

I'm not preparing for college right now, but I'm open to the possibility of going to college in the future. See how that works? I'm not doing something right now, but I'm willing to consider doing it later. No contradiction at all.

Yeah, I'm not here to tell you that Al Franken sucks, just that his diction is that of a drunken person.
on Feb 24, 2005
I think it can be a double edged sword every time someone makes comments like that. Especially when they are the president.
And dubya has made some interesting ones over the past 4 years.My point is that the far left will continue to gripe about it until the public gets tired of it, and they will move on. (no pun intended)

That's the great thing about dubya. Just when you think he can't say anything dumber he proves you wrong.
on Feb 24, 2005
I don't see what's dumb with that. So, he's not preparing to attack Iran, but if it becomes necessary, he will. How is that a contradiction?
When a cop stops somebody for speeding, he isn't getting ready to shoot the man/woman he stopped, but that doesn't mean he won't if there comes a need to.
on Feb 24, 2005
How is that a contradiction?


It is only a contradiction if you are so totally polarized politically that you suffer from Cognitive Dissonance yourself.
on Feb 25, 2005
That One Guy said:

That's the great thing about dubya. Just when you think he can't say anything dumber he proves you wrong.

That's actually more of a bug than a feature for me. Luckily, there's no relationship at all between "good public speaker" and "sound policy" (for example, take Clinton--please!).
on Feb 25, 2005
Point taken. But dubya is no Ronnie Reagan in the policy department either.
on Feb 25, 2005
Point taken. But dubya is no Ronnie Reagan in the policy department either.

It's funny, but I seem him as being a lot more Reaganesque (Reagan-tastic) then his father was. In fact, I'd say that his biggest failure in the Reagan department is his utter lack of public speaking skills.