Or, reparations, schmeparations.
I favor reparations, on the following basis:
One, that reparations consist of restoring people to the state they'd be in if they'd never been enslaved: starving and dying in the pesthole that is Africa today. Don't get me wrong--slavery is some repugnant shit, and I'd never argue that a slave is better off than a free man, but... okay, I might argue that. Who's better off today? The descendants of the slaves in America, or the descendants of the West African tribes that sold them into slavery in the first place? You want reparations? I say, great! Let's set things back to the way they should have been! Enjoy your stay in Ivory Coast!
Two, that reparations are made in exchange for a solemn oath that once the reparations are made, everybody will shut up about victimization and get on with their lives. Because I tell you what: I am one whitey who would gladly pay no small amount of money, if I were guaranteed it would end the discussion once and for all, and that African-Americans would start acting like just plain Americans. But if reparations won't make the whole ugly situation go away, then I want no part of it. I see no point in paying protection money if it doesn't even buy me protection.
But really, reparations, schmeparations. Hundreds of thousands of Americans gave their lives to end slavery (or to bind the slave states to a government that outlawed slavery, if you prefer) Now the NAACP says the blood is not enough--they want money, too. Count me out, thanks. My people already gave at the office.
Or how about this? The African American community can make reparations to all the Yankee families who were ruined when their able-bodied menfolk were killed in the Civil War. What about the generation of productivity that we sacrificed on the altar of African-American freedom? When are the beneficiaries of our blood sacrifice going to show some gratitude and make reparations to us?