Once you connect the dots, it's obvious!
Published on December 20, 2005 By stutefish In War on Terror
Okay, so get this:

George W. Bush, with the help of his brother Jeb and Big Oil, stole the 2000 Presidential Election. This was the Democrat's big chance to build on the success of the Clinton Administration, save the country from the horrible effects of the Dot-Com Crash, roll out free healthcare for everybody, and put the finishing touches on a new era of international cooperation and tolerance.

But stupid old "Dubya" had to go and mess all that up.

At first, the liberals (and the Democratic party) thought they didn't have anything to worry about. But then Dubya perpetrated all those shenanigans in Florida, and for a few days it looked like he'd just ruined humanity's last, best hope for a better tomorrow.

But Gore, bless his robot heart, wouldn't give up. He went to the courts.

But Bush already controlled the courts!

What can you do when the worst tyrant the world has ever known controls the Supreme Court itself?

Answer: Nothing!

Not that all these good people would give up so easily on their dreams of a bright and shining future, though. Humanity must be saved from itself at all costs! More importantly, humanity must be saved from Dubya at all costs!

But what can you do? He controls the voting apparatus. He controls the Supreme Court. Now he controls both Houses of Congress. And, worst of all, he controls the Executive Branch and the Armed Forces.

So there's only one thing left: Dubya cannot possibly prevail against the close scrutiny of a free people.

Therefore, the solution is to get him to do evil things in secret, and then make those evil things public!

Now what, more than anything else, is going to get the President to do lots of secret things?

Answer: A war.

When you think about it, the liberal plan is brilliant in its simplicity: start a war, and then run around freaking everybody out with tales of secret wartime measures.

Bush didn't order 9/11. Hillary Clinton ordered 9/11.

It's all so obvious, people!

Comments
on Dec 20, 2005
This is a bit far fetched even for JU!
on Dec 20, 2005
Thanks!
on Dec 20, 2005

Finally got tired of it I see!

very well written.

on Dec 20, 2005
Yeah, I love the part where Bush had the Supreme Court in his pocket, especially since he hadn't served a day as President and that his dad's own appointment, David Souter, turned out to be a liberal in conservative clothing.