Let's say I own a small factory. The factory produces about $100[1] worth of widgets every day, and requires a crew of seven people to operate at full efficiency. Let's also say that this factory operates in a country where it is customary to pay workers by the day, and that $10 per day is a low but acceptable wage. Now, I could pay my seven workers up to $14 per day, and still make a $2 profit. Very tight margin, but at least there's some money left over for my investors, or for cap...

You ever get that thing, with the sink? You know, the thing? No? Seriously? Come on, I bet you do. Hrm. Maybe I should explain: You know how sometimes, when you turn on a water faucet just a little bit, the water comes out in a thin, steady stream? But by the time that steady stream of water reaches the bowl of the sink, it has broken up into discrete droplets? Have you ever wondered why that happens? I mean, we've all played surface tension games with water. Everyw...

How I Think The Supreme Court Is Supposed To Work: THE PEOPLE: These are the laws we want. SCOTUS: And this the justice we will hand down, based on your laws. THE PEOPLE: This justice sucks! SCOTUS: You don't like it? Change your laws. Meanwhile, these are your laws, and this is your justice. We're just working with whatever you give us. THE PEOPLE: Go go Gadget Legislature! Give us new laws! And How It Appears To Work: THE PEOPLE: These are the laws we want. SCOTUS: Th...

This gentleman explains that his tranformation is part of his "[Native American] Indian background as a member of the Huron and Lakota tribes... Following an ancient Huron tradition, Avner said he is changing himself into his totem of a tiger." According to the article: That explains the catlike tattoos that cover his face and body, the surgery that split his lip and the implants he had placed in his forehead to shape his face more like that of an animal. It's why he has metal studs ...

It appears that terrorist attacks are way up in Afghanistan. On the other hand, Afghanistan recently booted its Islamofascist dictatorship, and held successful democratic elections. I wonder if there's a connection? And while I'm at it, could it be that terrorism was once much lower in Afghanistan because the terrorists considered Afghanistan to be under their control? Could it be that the terrorists have started operating in Afghanistan now, because the elections have clearly demo...

In fact, the Ends are the only thing that justify the Means. Here is a trustworthy saying: "Desperate times call for desperate measures." I haul my ass out of bed each morning, crawl into the office, and put in a good eight- to ten-hour day for The Man. What could possibly justify such exertion, such servitude, such sacrifice? Oh, that's right: I have goals. Food, shelter, entertainment. My Ends are the opportunity to build a better tomorrow for myself and my family. They fully j...

What if the Democratic Party abandoned the whole "us vs. them" calculus? Obviously, the Republicans would have to follow suit pretty quickly, but okay--what if either party abandoned the "us vs. them" calculus? I imagine something like this: "The Democratic Party pledges itself to the well-being of all Americans, of every color and creed. We recognize no barriers between fellow citizens. We dedicate our party to working together with all Americans. Nobody will be turned away. W...

I see in the news that both China and South Korea are complaining about Japan. Apparently, both countries have decided that Japan needs to be more apologetic and contrite about its evil imperialistic past. And it's true, Japan does have a pretty grim past. But without taking away anything from the grave and awful horrors that Japan has perpetrated in the past, I'd like to point out one thing. JAPAN HAS BEEN BOMBED WITH NUCLEAR WEAPONS. Alone of all nations, Japan has receieved w...

So I had a great idea for a new cartoon: Kim Jong Illin' It would be one part The Monkees, one part Scooby Doo, and one part Pinky and The Brain. In each half-hour episode, The Dictator of Hip-Hop would attempt to launch his nuclear missiles at The Man. And every time, something would prevent him from realizing his dream. In the pilot episode, his Missile Command center would be overrun by zombies; an unintended consequence of the poison gas tests he was conducting on his posse...

Let's get a few things straight. There are doctors who make mistakes. There are doctors who lie. There are politicians that make mistakes. There are politicians that lie. There are husbands that care. There are husbands that don't care. There are, likewise, parents at both ends of the spectrum. For every expert you bring out to support your position, they will bring out an expert to suppor their position. For every reasonable argument you use to discredit their expe...

Have you ever been frozen out by a woman? Guys, you know what I mean. You say or do the wrong thing, and suddenly POW! She won't talk to you. She won't even look at you. She just sits there, saying nothing, radiating massive, pummeling, icy waves of anger and frustration. There's nothing you can do about it, except bundle up against the cold and wait for the chill to pass. At times like this, you find yourself wishing for an argument, a shouting match, anything to warm things up a bi...

There's been a lot of speculation about Evil Totalitarian Dictatorships lately. I thought I'd cut through all the uncertainty and hype, and clear up a few things. There are two very simple rules, for figuring out if you live in an Evil Totalitarian Dictatorship. Rule 1: The only people who say you're not living in an Evil Totalitarian Dictatorship are the ones who are afraid of the secret police, or who suspect you of being a govenrment informer. This rule covers pretty much ever...

American foreign policy is like the Mystery Machine. Conservatives get to drive, because like Fred, Daphne, and Wilma, they're the ones who have it together enough to operate a motor vehicle. Liberals, like Shaggy and the Scoob, tag along, dreaming their sweet dreams of a better world they will never attain, and meanwhile constantly complaining about not enough food, too much scary, etc. Also like Shaggy and Scoob, the liberals run and hide, clinging to each other in fear, every time...

What's wrong with the Ten Commandments, anyway? Name one Commandment that doesn't have a universal application. Name one Commandment--just one!--that doesn't communicate a valuabe principle that every healthy community should firmly believe in. "Thou shalt have no other gods before me"? How about this: Know what you believe, and be true to it. Christians, study your scriptures, practice what you preach, avoid hypocrisy. Likewise all you other people with core principles to believe in....

So there was a debate in Oregon last weekend. It was aired on C-Span. It featured Richard Perle (a conservative) and Howard Dean (a liberal, current DNC chair). The debate was conducted in front of an audience. There were liberals in the audience. The debate started with an opening statement from each participant. Richard Perle went first. During his opening statement, Perl said something an audience member disagreed with. So what did that audience member do? He began shouting ...